When I was younger
by jodiexluvsxanime
Summary: When I was younger, I had an adventure of a life. I lived in a cave with my small family and their group of people who 'killed for a higher cause' whatever that means. For some reason, everyone needs me for SOMETHING. I just want them to leave me ALONE!
1. Meet Katana

**Hi everybody! Due to _such popular demand _*not* and pure boredom, well, say hello to he younger Uke! This story contains: PWNage, world-switching, randomness, perverted jokes, clumsiness, and overall Idiocity.**

* * *

Hi there. My name's Katana Myojin and I live in a cave! :D I'm 5 years old and I live with my older brother Sanji, and my mom and dad. I don't go to school, but daddy takes me on lots of trips! Sometimes new people come around, but not many stay for long. I think the only ones who've been here for awhile are Kakuzu.

I'm a carrot-top, and my eyes are green. I don't wear shoes often, so mommy put bandages on my feet. I'm really small, and I'm really clumsy. My favorite colors are orange, blue, green, black, purple, grey and red... but only sometimes red.

I scramble down the steps from my room into the Arts and Crafts room. It's in the hidden part of the base, and not many people know about it. Only me, Sanji and Mommy.

I pull out some crayons and a big sheet of paper. I get to work on drawing a life sized picture of myself. It was going good until I bumped into the table and some paint that wasn't put away spilled on it.

...

"MY EYE!" I shreik.

In only a few seconds my blue-haired mom busts into the room, looking freaked and holding a first aid kit.

"What happened? What's wrong with your eye? Have you been in your brother's kunai?"

I hold up the ruined picture, "This is all that's left!"

She stares at me for a few seconds before slowly walking over to me, "Oh... Ok..."

"I'm booored." I groan.

"You wanna meet the new members?" She offers. "They're in the meeting room right now."

"Ooh! Ooh! Yeaah!" I bolt to my feet and drag her out the room, into the usual meeting room.

"Well aren't you a bundle of joy today."

We stop in one room and I peek in at three people I've never seen before(but then again, I didn't get out much).

There was a black-haired guy with two lines on his face and red eyes. He had a black shirt with a high collar.

The second guy-or-girl was blonde and had a fishnet shirt on. His eyes were blue, except one eye was being covered by his bangs.

The third was really short and kinda looked like a turtle. He had a mask over his mouth and was glaring at nothing in partcicular.

"Hi!" I bolt into the room up to the black-haired guys. "I'm Katana, who're you? How old are you? You must be pretty old, cause you have wrinkles. And your eyes are red, where have I seen that before? I think it was on one of my friends... I don't get to see him often but I think he's a.. a.. a Uchiha I think. Hmm, your eyes are weird. Are they forever red or-"

"You talk to much." He states.

"Thanks!" I laugh, skipping over to the blonde. "And who're you?"

"Deidara, un."

"Are you a boy or a girl? I mean, your hair is really long but your chest dosen't puff out like her's." I point at mommy. "Hmmm, I'm confused..."

I walk away from the blonde, now intrested in the turtle looking guy. I sit on my knees in front of him and have a stare off for about 2 minutes.

"Hey guy, do you blink? I mean, you didn't blink _at all! _You must be some kinda magic or something! That's sooo cool!"

I marvel at the new 3 people, who in turn stare back looking slightly weirded out.

"Konan... Who's this?" The red-eyed one asks.

"Ehehe, this is Katana, my daughter, and she wanted to see the other members." She explains to the three of them.

"Are you a turtle?" I turn to the guy who looks like a turtle.

"No."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"You don't talk much do you?"

"..."

"Katana, why don't you go play with your brother?" Konan pushes me out the room.

"A brother too, un? This is insane."

* * *

I sit on the sidelines and watch Sanji train. He didn't go to school either, but he's really good. I think he's 10. He has blue-haired like mommy, but he dosen't pay much attention to me.

He throws the kunai and hits the target dead-center. I can't wait til I can do that.

"Sanji-"

"Shh. I'm concentrating." He glares.

I nod and go back to watching.

Sanji was a really serious person, and he doesn't really play with me. So it's almost like I'm an only child.

"Katana, come here." Sanji waves me over. "I need a moving target."

"?"

"Just run around the sheild and I'll try to hit you."

Sanji puts a thick helmet on me, along with some kinda protective vest.

"Start running."

I speed around the field as Sanji throws a bunch of weapons, missing mostly. I heard him say something about 'to fast a target' but he didn't tell me to stop.

A couple of shuriken stick themselves in my arm and I collapse on the ground crying.

"Your such a baby." Sanji walks over, as uncaring as ever.

He pulls me back on my feet and unlodges the kunai.

"Ooh! Ooh! Look! A MYSTERIOUS PERSON!" I run towards some guy in the shadows.

"What the he-Get back here Katana!" Sanji chases after me.

The guy in the shadow's had glowing red-eyes, and he wore a dark cloak. He looked almost happy to see me.

"Hello, child." He greets.

"Hi mysterious person! I'm Katana!"

"I know, and that's Sanji, right?"

"Yeah, how did you know!"

Sanji stands back, staring at the guy with a supicious look.

"Well, I'm your... Uncle."

"Oh cool, I have an uncle?"

"Your parents didn't tell you?" My uncle chuckles.

"No, they told me I didn't have any relatives."

"Katana, let's go. We're still doing target practice."

"Bye uncle!" I wave as Sanji carries me off.

Sanji sets me up again and I run around the training grounds for another hour before I'm hit again with 3 kunai's this time.

I sit on the ground and start crying again.

"Sanji! What have I said about using Katana for target practice!" Mommy stomps outside, smacking Sanji upside the head and picking me up. "I swear, your going to be the death of her."

Mommy takes me inside and wraps my arm up. Then she takes me to daddy's room.

"Pein, watch your child before she turns into a shish kabob." She plunks me on his desk.

"Hi Daddy!" I wave eagerly. "How was your day?"

"It was good, Katana." He mutters, not looking up from paper work.

"It doesn't look good, you've been doing paper work." I point out.

He just grunts this time.

"I met a bunch of new people today!" I launch into a long description. "One's blonde, but I don't know if it's a girl or boy! The other's got black hair and red eyes and lines under his face! Like, uber straight lines! Oh and the third one looks like a turtle and he _never blinks!_"

"Never?"

"Never ever! We had a 3 minute staring contest, but I lost."

"Mmhm."

"Uhh, I feel like I'm forgetting something..."

Daddy glances up with a curious expression.

"OH YEAH! When I was training with Sanji a met _another _new person! He had red-eyes too and he said he was my uncle! I didn't know I had an uncle, did you know? His hair is black, which is weird, cause if he was my uncle shouldn't he have orange or blue hair, but he might've died it hm..." I go into deep thought on why they guys hair was black.

"Did you get his name?"

"No, but I think he's an U...Uke-ha.. no... that's not right..." I stop talking and glare at the plant, trying to think.

"An Uchiha?"

"YEAH! Cause his eyes are red! It'd be pretty weird if his eyes are natrually like that!" I rant some more. "I mean, isn't it usually demons and possesed people with red ey-WE SHOULD GET A MOVIE!"

**[A/N: They still have to portal... They use it pretty often.]**

"Which movie?" Daddy pushes away teh paper work and pays full attention to me.

His eyes were grey and ringed, they were called some kinda power. Eh, I'll remember later. He also has a bunch of peircings and a lot of different bodies!

"Um... uh... uh... I DON'T KNOW!" I curl up, feeling lost.

"?" He pats my head awkwardly. "It's ok... whatever it is."

"Forget the movie." I pout. "I wanna go somewhere."

"Where?"

"The Uchiha compound! I remember this big old group of old people saying some kinda special text is down in the Uchiha compound in some hidden spot!" I throw my hands. "And I wanna read it!"

"...You do know you need a special kekkai genkai to read it, right?"

"Well... You can read it to me! Yeah! You have one right? The-the-the... Rinne-something."

"Mmkay..."

"Let's go!"

"Right now?"

"Right now!"

"Why?"

"Cause I might forget later!"

"Not right now though, but I'll remind you."

"Fine then! Be that way!" I pout some more.

I slide off his desk and grab my hoodie.

"Daddy? Imma going on a walk." I announce.

"Be back by 3."

"Okay!" I jog out the cave-house and walk through the forest in search of something mind-blowing.

* * *

I walked a good distance away from home, not exactly _where _I was at the time.

"Helloooo?" I look around curiously. "Aw man! I'M LOOOST!"

I get this weird feeling I'm being watched, and spin around trying to figure out who. I've always known when I'm being stared at, it's odd.

I take a few steps forward, and trip and fall face first into the ground. Natrually, I burst out crying my heart out. You wouldn't _believe _how hard the ground is! It's madness!

"Aww, the poor brat is crying." A new voice chuckles.

I look up and see a blonde chick giving me this creepy smile.

I wipe my eyes, "Stop smiling... It creeps me out."

The lady frowns as a different laugh erupts from behind me. I turn around and see a guy with black hair.

"Who're you people?" I question. "And where am I?"

"We're people who need you," The lady smirks. "And your coming with us."

"...Eh?"

The guy picks me up and shoves me into a sack and next thing I know, I'm being carried off somewhere.

"HEY! LET ME OUT! I DON'T KNOW YOU PEOPLE! STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER! HEEELP!"


	2. The Green Gunk

**RECAP: So... Katana's been kidnapped, eh? Somehow, this is not surprising to me.**

* * *

The two people finally let me out the sack, and I find myself in a... a big room. Yeah. Best decription ever, huh? It's got a door... a floor... and a ceiling.

"Where am I?" I question with a glare. "Take me home!"

"Your not running anything," The guy knocks me over. "Shut up and be a nice, quiet girl."

"I don't _wanna _be nice! Or quiet! Take me home!"

"Shut up!"

"MAKE ME! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The guy puts duct tape over my mouth and duct tapes me to a tank of a bunch of green stuff.

"...?"

"Stay put and stay quiet." The lady instructs.

"I don't have to be quiet! Your not my mom!"

"Thank the _gods_for that."

"Hey!"

I'm kept duct taped to the tank for quite a few hours. I officialy hate these people. I want to go home.

* * *

Meanwhile, Pein and Konan had just realized their second born child hadn't come home.

"What the hell? You never lost Sanji," Konan facepalms.

"Sanji barely even spoke, let alone traveled." Pein reminds her.

"Too true..."

"So it's not my fault Katana ran off. You had the hyper-active child."

"I bet she got it from you!"

"Don't blame me!"

"It's both your faults, I heard on TV it's a team effort." Sanji cuts in.

"..."

"..."

"What? It's true, isn't it?"

"Anyways..." Pein rolls his eyes. "It's not as hard to find missing kids in this world."

"Oh yeah... Maybe we do go to Earth to much." Konan taps her chin in thought. "Well, let's go find her."

"Don't rush me, woman!"

"I'll rush you all I like!"

"Not like I'll listen!"

"You are such a child!"

Sanji sighs, _Am I the only child who has to go through this?_

"You evil bastard!"

"Your mom."

"Let's just go."

Pein smirks triumphantly and whispers, "I win."

* * *

I groan, officialy bored again.

"Hellooo? People who took me? Can I get some food in this place?"

"Whatever." The lady grumbles, un-duct taping me and giving me a plate of food.

I stare down at the weird plateful of fruits and veggies.

"You don't expect me to _eat _this, do you?" I question.

"It's food, brat. Be grateful."

"I wanna go home."

"I know."

"Can you take me ho-"

"No."

"Why no-"

"Because I said so."

"That's not-"

"It's a perfectly good reason."

"Nu-uh."

"Yes it is."

"Nu-uh."

"Yes."

"Nu-uh."

"MY GOODNESS, HOW DO THEY DEAL WITH YOU!" The blonde lady stomps away.

"With candy," I lie.

"Hm."

"What?"

I turn my attention to the tank of green stuff, "What's this stuff?"

"Stuff."

"What's it do?"

"Changes you."

"Can you demonstrate?"

"Gladly, come here."

"No, I mean on some one else other than me."

"Then no."

"AHHH!" I shreik, kicking and punching the tank. "WHY NOT! YOUR HORRIBLE PEOPLE! YOU BROUGHT ME TO YOUR HOUSE AND YOU WON'T EVEN TAKE ME! BACK! HOME! I'M! BOOORED! GIVE ME SOMETHING TO DO! NOW! DON'T TOUCH ME! I'M BORED! BORED BORED BORED! RAAAAH!"

The blonde ladies eye twicthes and she glares at me, "Your gonna break i-"

**_Crk, crk, crk._**

I back away from the tank as a huge crack forms.

"You imbecile!" The lady curses.

"What's that mean?" I ask, dodging a stream of the green stuff coming out.

"Grrr..."

A loud alarm goes off. More cursing from the lady. Time for a plan!

I jump on the ladies back and pull her hair, "OH MY GOSH! SAVE US! SAVE US LADY! AHH! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIE!"

"You little brat! Let go!"

"I'M SCAARED! WE'RE GONNA DIE! DO SOMETHING BLONDE LADY! AHH! SHE'S JUST GONNA LET US DIE, SAVE ME! FORGET HER, SAVE ME!"

"Get off!"

The two of us go crashing down in the puddle forming on the floor.

The lady sits up blocking the blast with her arm, her other arm she was keeping me from running off.

She curses and sputters, finally getting to her feet. See, I'm glad I'm not that tall. Tall people move to slow.

I pull free and turn around to run. Only to get shot in the face with the green stuff.

"MY EYES!" I shreik, serious this time. "IT BURNS!"

I run around the room, trying to wipe the gunk out my eyes and off my face.

"This is a rather traumatic experience for a 6 year old." The guy points out with a laugh.

"DON'T LAUGH! IT HURTS, SEE!" I shove him towards the crack that was still spurting out liquid.

"Holy crap!" He pulls out duct tape and starts covering up the hole.

"wow... That was actually pretty easy." I comment, not having much luck getting the stuff out my eyes.

I use my shirt to clear a bunch of it out and open my eyes to see the blonde lady now having a big _tentacle arm._

I stare for a moment, then scream in horror.

"You guys should really rethink where your base is." An all-to familiar voice says. "And maybe even sound proof it."

"I could hear her from outside! It better not be another painting."

"It's not!" I run over to my parents. "I broke the tank and green stuff started squirting out and it got me in the face! It got in my eyes, and it freaking BURNED!"

"Poor child." Mommy picks me up.

"Oh, and I think those two are having issues with the green stuff. She has a tentacle arm and claw feet." I point at the blonde. "And he's got a lobster claw arm."

"Wait, why isn't it affecting you!" The lady shreiks.

"Cause I'm special." I giggle.

We head back home and that puppet guy(who I now know as Sasori the Redhead) checks out my eyes.

"It dosen't look like their's anything wrong with her eyes." Sasori shines a light in my eyes. "If anything, it made her eyes better."

"I find it ironic that the brat who _broke _the thing was affected in a good way." Kakuzu comments.

"Your just jealous, gramps!" I huff. "Your jealous cause your eye sight is slowly dying off, wheras mine is getting better!"

"Whatever, idiot."

* * *

**This is actually really important to the storyline, and not a filler...**


	3. The Super Secret Epic Stone With Words

**Time for the next chapter! Enjoy my epic readers and reviewers!**

* * *

I sit in Daddy's room the next week, bugging him about going to the Uchiha compound.

"Nooow can we go? You promised we would!"

"Why again do you want to go?" He glances up.

"Cause people talk about it like it's a big deal, and I wanna see if it is!"

"Give me 5 minutes."

"Ok!" I zoom out the room.

* * *

"Now Katana, you have to be _really quiet _so no one sees us, ok?" Daddy explains.

"OK." I nod eagerly and pretend to zip my lips.

He gives me a weird look, but leads the way.

The Uchiha compound is huge, and big and has a lot of buildings.

But daddy walks to fast! I have to run to keep up with him. But I'd promise I'd stay quiet, so quiet is what I'll be!

_I wonder if it's really all that good. Must be pretty special if only certain people can read it... I wonder if **I **can read it? That would be so cool... Hmm, wonder if I could get a kekkai genkai? That would be even _**_awesomer! _**_Hehehehe..._

That's when I realize, I had lost Daddy. Of course. Ugh, this is why I don't think.

I wander around aimlessly until I find a door that went slightly under ground.

"Oooh, a new place to explore!" I push the door open and sneak inside the dark tunnel.

I jog, trying to figure out if there's an end to this tunnel.

"I'm runnin' and runnin'! Runnin' through a tunnel!" I sing.

I stop in a big room that was candle-lit(which is weird for an abandoned place) and see a big stone with writing on it.

"That's so cool!" I sit in front of it, and start reading the weird thingy.

"Huh... You beat me here." Pein smirks, ruffling my hair. "So, can you read it?"

"Yeah! And who's this Sage of Six Path's? And Juubi! Who's he?"

"Hm... Maybe that goo affected you more than we thought."

"Don't avoid my question!"

"I wasn't,"

Daddy stares at me for awhile.

"What?" I cock my head to the side.

"Nothing..."

"Liar!" I turn back to the stone tablet and go back to reading.

* * *

We walk back into the house.

"So brat, where did _you _go?" Sasori asks.

"It's a secret!" I hop onto the couch. "But who needs school? I learn stuff _all by myself."_

_"_That's good for you."

I scramble onto the couch and sit next to my make-shift doctor, "Let's plat 21 Questions!"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"PLEEAASE?"

"I said no, Katana!"

"But I'm BORED!"

"Go play with... Sanji."

"He's training and I don't like being a target, it cuts me up see?" I raise my arm, letting my sleeve fall, showing off the many bandages that covered my arm.

"That's twisted,"

"Katana, how old are you?" Itachi asks.

"I'm five!" Katana claps eagerly.

"Here." He pushes a picture book into her hands. "Not a word until you finish looking at it."

Katana nods determinedly and flips through pages and pages of animals and fish.

"That was easy, yeah..." Deidara comments.

* * *

"I'M DONE, ITACHI!" Katana tosses the book on the coffee table satisfied.

"That's great, Katana." Itachi replies.

"You know there's naked cats? It's s creepy, how could anyone have a creepy, bald cat!"

Orochimaru enters the room, "How was your day, Katana?"

He was one of the few people that interacted _nicely _with Katana.

"I actually read soemthing and learned a bunch of stuff! I didn't even KNOW I could read!" Katana cheers, hyped up again.

"Hm?" The snake-guy, Orochimaru gets that intrested look. "What did you learn?"

"I learned who the Sage of Six Path's is, what the Juubi is, and the secret to ninjutsu."

* * *

**Reviewers get a cookie and a hug! :D From anyone in the world!**


	4. Dango

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"STALKER!" I bolt out the room and dive under my bed.

There's this new guy here, he's black and white(color), he has sharp teeth and has a big green thing around him. He can sink into the ground and he eats _people_! He kinda scares me.

"Why're you hiding under your bed?" Sanji pulls me out from under my bed.

"There is a walking plant in our house."

"That's Zetsu,"

"Eh?"

"New guy, he's not gonna eat you."

"Oh, phew!" I stand up and make my way out the room. "Imma go say hi."

"Why didn't you before?"

"He scared me."

"You sure you just didn't over react?" Sanji rolls his eyes. "You tend to do that a lot."

"Your mom!"

"We have the same mom."

"...Oh yeah."

"Idiot."

"Mooom! Sanji's calling me name's!" I whine, waving my arms in the air to catch her attention.

"Sanji, quit calling your sister names." She mutters back. "It's bad enough you use her for target practice."

I go out looking for the multi-colored guy again, and find him out in _my _dying garden. I climb up the small stairs and hide behind a small statue to watch him. He stops and turns.

"I can see you." He comments.

"No you can't." I shoot back.

**"Idiot."**

"HEEY! YOUR VOICE CHANGED!" I jump out my hiding spot and stand in front of him. "THAT'S SO COOL, HOW DID YOU DO THAT!"

"Weren't you scared of me less than 5 minutes ago?" He questions. **"It's cause she's a retard. **She is not, she's probably just curious. **You know you agree."**

I stare all confused-like, "Do you talk to yourself?"

**"What do you think, brat?"**

"Well, I'm just making sure. I like your other voice better, he's nicer than you. Your a meany voice."

"For an idiot, she takes this rather well."

"Hey!" I cross my arms and pout.

"What **the hell **are you even doing here**, brat?" **The multi-colored guy questions.

"This is my house!" I grin. "Konan is my mommy and Leader is my daddy!"

"..."

"I'm Katana, what's your name?"

"Zetsu."

I blink slowly and glance back as the smell of dango floats in the air. Zetsu takes a step back for some reason, probably the same reason everyone else does. They should tell me one of these days.

"BYE ZETSU!" I run into the kitchen and hop in my chair, watching with wide eyes as Mom makes dango. "OOOH, who is that for? Is it almost done? Mmmm, can I taste? Pleeease?"

"No, they're for Itachi." She smirks, setting them on the window sill to cool. "Don't touch them."

"..." I cross my arms and pout as she leaves the kitchen to wash her hands(I broke the sink...). I wait a few seconds to make sure she's really gone.

I get up and walk over to the window and grab the mittens. I hold the tray carefully and slide out the window. I smile eagerly and sit outside, eating the sticky and sweet food. I lick my fingers and come up with a new problem: I ended up eating them all.

"Uh-oh..." I tap my chin and come up with a new idea. "I'll make my own!"

I crawl back into the kitchen and close and lock the door, then get to work. Now to remember what's in those yummy balls of awesomeness.

I crawl on the counter and throw things out the cabinet to find some ingrediants I've seen Mommy use.

"Let's see, I need sugar! Sugar's sweet! Hmmm, I need something to make it thick... Flour! Yeah! And, uh, this creamy white stuff. Oh, this looks cool! Sticky rice makes it sticky right?" I grab some red and green dye and the little sticks to put them on.

* * *

It took me the next few hours, but I think they came out pretty good! They're round, colored and sticky like they're s'pose to be! I unlock the kitchen door with some struggle and leave the kitchen as it is. Someone'll clean it up.

"...The hell happened to you?" Daddy questions as I walk through the halls.

"Imma chef!" I clap eagerly. "I made dango, but shhh! Don't tell mommy!"

"Don't tell me what?" Konan pokes her head out the door.

"TIS A SECRET WOMAN!" I scream, running into my room.

_**Later on at dinner...**_

__Everyone sits around the living room, watching the new TV daddy got us. I hid the remote so I _finally _got to watch Jersey Shore! Itachi turns to Konan.

"That dango you made earlier..." He mutters. "Your losing your touch."

"What! I am not!" She protests.

"Hn."

Mommy tastes the dango and turns a bit green. THEY TASTE GOOD, I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY SAY!

"Uke... Were you trying to cook?" Sanji questions.

"..." I set my plate aside. "TIS A SECRET YOU PEDO'S!" And I go back to my room. "Good night~!"

Everyone just stares like: O.o


	5. A short travel

"Nope, I'm pretty sure we're lost." I look around.

"How would you know?" Daddy rolls his eyes.

"Cause, I _know _I've seen that tree before!"

"All the trees look the sa-"

"NU-UH! THAT TREE HAS PURPLE LEAVES AND THAT TREE HAS GREEN LEAVES! And that tree is really small while that tree is super tall! An-And that tree is broken and-"

"Okay, I get it. Not all the trees look the same."

"I was right!" I realize happily.

"Shut up, you talk to much."

"I talk just the right amount!"

"How would you know the right amount of talking?"

"Cause I have smarticles."

I trip over the nearest root and face plant into the ground. I twitch a little, slowly realizing what just happened.

"Katana, get up, the bug'll eat your face."

I scream, shoot to my feet, and start running... right into the nearest tree. I turn around slowly, rubbing my forehead.

"I don't like this trip."

_**5 HOURS EARLIER...**_

"Yay! Where're we going this time?" I jumped on my daddy's back as the sun started to rise. "Is it somewhere fun? Are there people to play with? Hey, why-"

"Shhhh, it needs to stay quiet if I'm gonna carry you." He interupted.

"Alright." I whispered.

We walked for awhile and then I saw a big... thing. I stare at it for awhile, not knowing what animal/person/plant it is yet. It was brown and had green eyes... Six legs and a looong tounge.

I hop off daddy's back and poke the thing with a pointy stick. He stares at me for awhile, then pulls me away from the thingy.

"Daddy, what was that?" I ask, dropping the stick.

"No idea, but you sure shouldn't be touching it."

"Why not?"

"Because it's dead,"

I gasp overly loud, "It is? Why didn't someone bury it like they do in the movies! We should go bury it!"

"I'm not gonna bury some mutant."

"But-"

"Nope."

"BUT IT'S GOTTA BE BURIED OR IT'LL START HAUNTING PEOPLE!"

"No."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WE'RE GONNA BE KILLED BY A GHOST!" I run off into the forest.

"Katana, get back here! There's no such things as ghost."

I stop and turn around with my arms crossed, "Hah, real funny. Next thing I know, your telling me Santa isn't real."

"..." He picks me up by my shirt collar and puts me back on the trail. "Your an idiot."

"Meany!"

_**NOW...**_

We walk for some more long time and I finally see the village gates of I-Don't-Care. I'm about to run inside when daddy grabs me by the arm.

"Don't fight, don't make a scene, don't go running off with strangers, and stay where people can see you." He lists off the usual rules.

"Fiiiiine." I groan, pulling away and walking into the village like a _calm _child. "Stupid rules..."

I go into this daycare and sneak past the woman who owns it, like I usually do. I go over to the building blocks and start working on the most epic building EVER to be thought of! That is, until some dog comes over and knocks it over.

"..." I stare in horror as the thing rolls around in my blocks.

"Akamaru!" A brown-haired boy comes running over. "Hey girl, sorry."

"..."

"Hellooo? Did you hear me?"

"..."

"You okay?"

"RAH RAH RAH! I AM A LEOPLURODON!" I shriek, attacking the boy.

* * *

I leave the daycare, bored with their toys, most of which were all effed up. I go onto a street with a bunch of vendors. So many foods and games and toys!

"Dango..." I zombie-walk to the street vendor and stare at the guy as he makes a fresh batch.

The round balls, the gooey syrup... Mmmmmmm.

"Hey kid, if your not buying, leave." He suddenly says.

"Whatever, Beardy." I mumble.

He fnishes a fresh batch and I wait patiently for him to look away before snatching a couple sticks off the counter and walking away.

"Hey! Get back here you little theif!"

I ignore him and nibble on the food, a bunch of the syrup getting on my hands.

"I said stop!" The guy grabs me by my hair.

I pause and turn around to glare at him, "Let. Go."

"Your gonna have to pay for that dango, brat."

...**The following scene**

...**has been erased**

...**because I don't wanna have to move the rating up one.**

...**This is a 'kids' story.**

...**As in: The story of a very violent kid.**

I walk away with from the vendor. The guy was nice enough to give me the whole batch of dango. I walk almost silently through town, going to wait at the village gates. This place blows.

"You came back fast." Pein comments, coming up behind me. "Where'd you get all the food?"

"This real nice vendor told me he'd give this to me if I left him alone, 'nuff said."

"Let's go, odd child."

"I'm not an odd child! I'm _your _odd child!"

We begin walking back to the base, Daddy refusing to carry me cause my hands were super sticky from the dango syrup. I wonder how you make that stuff?


	6. Wedding Dress

I stand at the edge of the roof uneasily, holding my arms out for balance. I laugh and secure the bungy cord around my waist. I put on my helmet and laugh again, the wind blowing softly.

"Alright, Katana, yeah!" Deidara calls out, holding a video camera. "On the count of 3, yeah! One... Two... Three!"

I jumps off the roof with a happy squeal. I do a small backflip and prepares to be snapped back up by the cord... I crash into the garbage cans, knocking them all over. I hang a couple inches off the ground dazed.

"Looks like I measured wrong, un..."

"Ya think so?" I hiss. "I hadn't noticed!"

"My bad," Deidara lifts me up and unties the bungee cord. "Don't seem hurt to bad, un."

"Last time I take advice from you..." I murmur.

We go inside and he makes me ice cream! He goes into the living room and falls asleep on the couch. I sigh in annoyance, mostly because everyone else left me and Deidara to do "missions". I think they just want to avoid me for a couple days.

I take my ice cream and sit on the couch arm and notice something. He had a mouth on his hand... I stare at it for the longest time before it opens and sticks it's tounge out at me! I blink slowly and make sure I'm not imagining things again.

I take a scoop of ice cream and drop it in the open mouth, just to see what would happen.

...

It melted... Not to sure if it ate it or not... Oh well.

I get up and walk away to try and find something the oddly placed mouth would like to eat. Chocolate, bananas, mints, grapes and some of Deidara's clay! I sit on the couch and try feeding it the things, but it didn't like anything but the clay! It chewed up the clay, spit it out and it was a birdy! I pick it up and examine it.

"Weird mouth." I announce. "My mouth sure can't do this!"

Deidara wakes up and stares at me, then his hand.

"Oopsies, you woke up." I smirk.

"What the-KATSU!"

I cough as smoke fills the room and I'm thrown across said room. I crawl on my hands and knees to the basic area of the hallway to escape a very mad Deidara. A bump into the drawer and the lamp topples over.

"Whoops." I sigh.

A hand grabs my leg and I find myself hanging upside down and looking at Deidara.

"What is WRONG with you, un! What the hell did you do to my hand?"

"I fed it! It was hungry!"

"My _hand _cannot _eat_, yeah."

"Then why does it have a mouth?" I state matter-of-factly.

"I use it to make my exploding clay, you idiot."

"Oh."

he drops me and I quickly stand back up. I do a little twirl and head for the TV, switching through various movies. I sit on the couch and stare at the screen as Deidara cleans up the mess I made.(mostly him).

_**HOURS LATER**_

I FOUND THE SODA! I stand on the coffee table, wearing shorts, a tanktop, mommy's bra on my head, a pink boa, purple high heels, a way-to-big belt, and yellow sunglasses that were HUGE!

"Katana, get down and put some clothes on, yeah!" Deidara snaps.

"Shut up, I am Lady Gaga!" I quote the TV. "And I _am _wearing clothes, baka!"

"I know your not talking, un! Your dressed like a complete idiot and dancing like a stripper!"

I cross my arms, "What's a stripper?"

He groans and walks away. I shrug and keep dancing like the people on screen. I jump up and down, and the coffee table somehow breaks. I shrug it off and take off the weird clothes. I go into the kitchen and search the fridge for a snack.

I find pack of cookies and rip it open. I sit on the floor and eat until they're gone. I frown, now bored without Deidara around. I wander through the base and look for him, calling out his name to get his attention.

I go to one end of the base and back, finally finding him sitting outside. I think he's hiding from me...

I push the window open and stand on the couch, "Deidara! Take me to the park!"

"Damn, she found me." He grumbles. "Yeah, sure. Whatever, un."

"Yay!"

I scramble out the door quickly. Deidara takes one look at me and grabs me up and stuffs me inside his cloak.

"What the hell, un? You know how your mom is about public nudity!" He scolds. "What happened to your clothes?"

"They're all washing." I explain. "And I have nothing else to wear except what you called a stripper outfit."

Deidara brings me inside with a sigh, "I said you were dressed like an idiot, _dancing _like a stripper."

I roll my eyes as he goes looking through rooms and closets for something I could wear. I groan loudly, tired of being carried for once. Deidara pulls a huge box into view and digs through it.

At the bottom, he pulls out a white dress.

"Yuck! _It's a dress._"

"I'm aware of that, un." He forces me into the thing. "But you can't walk around in nothing, un."

"Meany." I stick my tounge out.

AS soon as the dress is on, we go outside so we could go to the park. He sits up in a tree and I go into the playground. I climb up and try to do the monkey-bars. I grunt and reach for the third bar, unable to reach.

I slip and fall on this blonde boy. I frown and sit up to look at the dazed boy.

"Sorry! You okay?" I question.

"Yeah, I'm fine." The boy sits up.

He had blonde hair and whiskers on his face. His eyes were big and blue, but he looked kinda sad.

"I'm Katana, what's your name?" I smile.

"Naruto."

I nod, remmebering daddy saying something about some boy named Naruto. He was a... JJin-something... A Jin. Yeah.

I spend the rest of my time playing with the blonde boy until Deidara made me leave. Even then, I tried to sneak Naruto with me. It didn't work, sadly.

"Bye byyye, Naruto!" I wave good bye.

_**AT HOME...**_

"Deidara..." Konan stares at the two of us. "Why's Katana in my wedding dress?"

"She wanted to go to the park, un." He replies bluntly.


	7. CANDY!

Katana stares with big, wide eyes at the window of the candy store. So much candy all in one place, it really did live up to it's name, _"Candy Heaven". _She turns to Hidan and Kakuzu with big, puppy dog eyes, her lip pouting out slightly.

"Hey, Kakuzu?" She tugs on his cloak sleeve. "Can I-"

"No, it costs money and I'm not spending anymore than we need too." Kakuzu barely spares her a glance.

She whimpers and turns to Hidan, "Hidan-"

"Don't turn those damn puppy-dog eyes on me, Little Fucker." Hidan rolls his eyes. "You don't need any candy, anyways."

"But I-"

"NO!" Both the males scream at her.

Katana pouts and crosses her arms, glaring daggers at the two of them. She follows them around the mall as they shop for various things on the list. She sits outside the pet store as they get more rats for Orochimaru's snakes and more food for Kisame's fish. The owner didn't allow her in the pet store anymore.

She let a lot of animals out and put them back in the wrong cages... Then she triped and knocked all the dog food over, making an even bigger mess... Then she ate some of the fish, snuck a few more in her pockets... And then she road out the store on an even bigger dog. She claims it was her alter ego, Charles.

Katana couldn't help but notice the _"Candy Heaven" _store was right across from her. She looks around before running like a mad chicken to the store. She was amazed that she made it and reaches for a jaw breaker.

"Nice try, Little Fucker." Hidan picks her up by the back of her shirt and slings her over his shoulder. He leaves the store and meets back up with Kakuzu at the grocery store.

"Why do you keep calling me that?" She whines, staring longingly at the candy shop.

"Because your a smaller version of our fucking leader... Stupid fucker sending me to go shopping." He grumbles.

"Oh... What's a "fucker'"?

"It's-"

"Hidan, shut up. She's 6." Kakuzu growls. "You know Konan would have your head if she knew you were telling her daughter these things."

"Fuck off, stitch face."

"What's fuck?" Katana stares in confusion.

"Damnit, you are fucking clueless!"

"Is 'fucking' the same as 'fuck?'"

"Shut up, ask someone else if you need to know so much!"

Hidan _really _didn't want his head cut off.

They grab a cart, ignoring disapointed stares from other parents and grown-ups. They start at the fruit and veggies aisle, arguements already erupting from the 3 of them. The candy store was momentarily forgotten.

"I hate red apples, they're nasty!" Katana shouts. "Get green ones!"

"You don't even eat apples, idiot." Kakuzu shoots back.

"Because you always get the red ones!"

_**Aisle 2**_

"No one eats the rip off cereal, stitch fucker!" Hidan snaps. "Get the normal ones!"

After knocking down an entire stack of apples, Katana had been put in the baby seat. She glowers at anyone who stares too long. Kakuzu drops a few boxes of rip-off cereals into the cart. She picks one up and reads the label of rip-off Cheerios.

"...Circles?" She frowns and throws the box aside, getting normal Cheerios. She goes thorugh each rip-off box, reads it, and replaces it with the real brand. "Silly Circles, Krispy Rice, Chocolate Chip Cookies, and... Frisky Marshmallows?"

Kakuzu turns and grabs the cart, only noticing when Katana tries to trade in the _"Frisky Marshmallows" _for normal _Lucky Charms. _He stops her and moves onto the next aisle. Katana huffs angrily and kicks him in the stomach, almost getting punched in the face.

Hidan secretly gives her a thumbs up and she grins eagerly. She makes grabby hands as Kakuzu looks at oatmeal prices. Hidan rolls his eyes and sighs, lifting the child out the baby seat. She fists the air in triumph and goes to explore.

"What was the point in letting her out?" Kakuzu scowls. "She's just gonna make a bigger mess."

"Shut up, stich face."

"You don't trust me?" Katana whines.

_**Aisle 3**_

"Kakuzu, can I get some ice cream?" Katana points as they walk through the freezer section.

"No."

"What about a popsicle?"

"No."

"Gelato?"

"_No._"

"...Frozen Yogurt?"

"Damnit, I said no!"

"But why? If we get it now, we won't have to get the more expensive kind from Baskin Robbins!"

Kakuzu sighs in defeat, "For once, kid, you make sense. Go get one of the big tubs of ice cream."

Katana cheers and runs to the freezer to pick out an ice cream flavor. Hidan dumps bags of frozen chicken, dumplings, pancakes and waffles into the cart. Kakuzu grabs a few coupons from the dispensers to use to his advantage. Katana comes back holding a big tub of Rainbow Sherbert Ice Cream, dropping it into to the cart with a grunt.

"Can I go into Candy Heaven now?" Katana pleads.

"No, it's too expensive." Kakuzu moves onto the next aisle.

_**Aisle 4**_

The pet aisle was skipped for 2 reasons. One, they got all the pet things they needed from the pet store. Two, there was a chance both Katana and Hidan would end up locked inside dog crates. And who would explain that to the owners, bystanders and the police?

_**Aisle 5**_

They had come to the health aisle, and they make a note to never bring Katana back to this aisle again. If she didn't already know what it was, she would pick it up and ask about it. Not only was it annoying, but it was pretty awkward sometimes.

She picks up a box of tampons and holds it up for them to see, "What's this?"

"It's for when girls bleed." Hidan replies bluntly.

"Should I get some? Akemi makes me bleed a lot."

His eyes widen slightly, "It's for girls like your mom."

"Ohhh, maybe I should get some for her!" Katana puts in the cart, clueless as ever.

"Whatever." Kakuzu sighs. "It's on the list anyways."

"Why don't guys use them?" Katana questions.

"Because there's no where to put them you fucking idiot!" Hidan shouts, sniggering slightly.

"...Huh? But you bleed all the time."

"..."

They quickly leave the aisle before she could say something else. She pauses and stares at a bunch of colorful packets. She grins, thinking they're candy and fills her pockets with them. She noted it was a weird place to put candy, but she didn't really care. She opens another box and dumps the contents into her other pocket. She takes a few off the display, then runs to catch up with Hidan and Kakuzu.

"Hey, can I get some of this candy?" She waves it in the air.

Hidan stares in silence for a few seconds before busting out laughing. He clutches his stomach, he was laughing so hard. Kakuzu was unamused, people starting to stare. He sighs and turns to face the child. His eyes widen as she rips it open and sticks it in her mouth.

"Mmmm, chocolate..." She sucks on the... thing. "Do you want some Hidan?"

"N-NO!" Hidan keeps on laughing.

"Spit it out," Kakuzu instructs.

"Why?" She whines.

"Just do it."

"Fine..." She spits the condom out on the ground. "It was out of flavor anyways."

They rush to the checkout line so they could get Katana out of there as fast as possible. When they weren't looking, Katana dumped all the condoms she had in her pocket on the conveyer belt. The lady grins at Hidan and Kakuzu, who, in turn, give her a weird look.

"I'm so happy not all of your kind are shy about being togther."She grins. "You even had the guts to adopt!"

"WHAT!?" Both of them shout, glaring at Katana.

"Little Fucker, that's not candy!" Hidan pushes the condoms off the conveyer belt.

"What is it then?" Katana whines.

"They're condoms."

"Huh?"

"Wow, Pein and Konan have a lot to explain to get home." Kakuzu sighs.

"Good for them." Hidan smirks.

They pay for their stuff and leave the store hurriedly. An announcement comes on that ruins they're day.

_'Attention shoppers, Candy Heaven is holding a contest to win a free minute in the store. Sign up now before it's too late.' _

Katana squeals and starts to run towards the store. Hidan tries to stop her by grabbing her shirt, but she was too pumped and she slipped right out of it. Hidan sweatdrops, that girl really didn't need any candy. Katana screams with joy and shoves many kids out of line. She signs her name on puts multiple slips in the box. She growls at the other kids who hadn't yet signed up, scaring them off effectively.

They call the name, and it was Katana. Mostly cause she cheated and scared a lot of people off. Kakuzu grabs her while she's standing at the finish line. He holds her by her leg. She claws at his hand until he's holding onto her shorts leg and she slips out of that article of clothing too.

"Ready Set GO!" The guy running the contest didn't even notice.

Which is surprising, cause everyone else did. It's not everyday you see a half naked girl going insane for candy.

* * *

After the minute is up, Hidan and Kakuzu go in the building to see Katana laying in a pile of candy, drool and foam leaking out her mouth. Her eyes were rolling around her head, making her look possesed. The stare at her for a few seconds before picking her up(holding her at arms length) and carrying her out the store.

_**At home...**_

"My poor baby." Konan cooes. "What did those zombies do to you?"

"She ate herself sick." Kakuzu scoffs. "Don't blame us."


	8. Chores and Naruto

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah!"

"Your sure, your sure?"

"YEAH!"

"Are you lying?"

"No!"

"I can trust you?"

"YES!"

"Alright..."

"Alright?"

"Alright." Orochimaru nods at Katana, trusting her with the laundry duties while he caught up on his sleep.

Orochimaru leaves the laundry room and goes to his bedroom. Katana sticks her tounge out in thought and tries to remember what Konan did when she washed clothes. What? Katana didn't do much...

"Alright, first I gotta fill the thingy with water." She stands on a stool and tries to figure out how to turn it on. She pushes the button, but nothing happens. She tries out a few more buttons before turning a knob and water pours in. She grins triumphantly. "Now for the soap!"

She hunts around the small room and finds all kinds of soap in the cabinet. She struggles to lift the big bottle off the ground, dragging it across the room as an alternative. She pops the cap off and pushes it up the side of the washer until it reaches the top and tips over. She stares for a few seconds as the entire bottle falls in and gets stuck, pouring its contents out into the washer. She quickly pulls it out, spilling the rest of it onto herself in the process. She hides the evidence bottle behind the water heater and continues with her mission.

She takes off her bright red shirt and throws it in. She then grabs the bag filled with white clothes and dumps it in there too, filling the whole thing up. She closes the top and dries her hands on her jeans. Katana runs upstairs to put a new shirt on, oblivious to the loud rumbling the washing machine was making.

She searches the kitchen for a snack, currently pulling everything out the fridge and cabinets in hopes of finding something sweet. Konan had taken to hiding all the sweets ever since Katana had learned how to get past the child locks. Katana scowls as she comes up empty, nothing but healthy foods being left out. She stands up and leaves the kitchen, forgetting all about her mess.

_What to do now? _

* * *

Katana decieded to go on a quick walk. She makes sure to remember where the base is this time, which meant no going off the trail. She finds herself back at the park, where a bunch of academy children were having free time at. She grins and looks around for the blonde boy she was playing with a few days ago. He went to school, right? She didn't go to school... Was she suppose to?

She spots her friend sitting under a tree, alone and looking pretty sad. She grins and runs over to him, dropping to her knees next to him.

"Naruto, hey!" She grins, the notices his sadness. She frowns. "What's wrong, blondie?"

He sniffles, "It's nothing."

"It is something, your all... sad looking! Isn't school suppose to be a happy place or whatever?"

"To most people, yeah." He sighs. "You go to school don't you?"

"No... Am I suppose to?"

"Well... Yeah."

Katana takes this in and stares silently. She pulls a marker from her pocket and writes _"Go to school" _on her hand for later reference. She turns to Naruto and smiles.

"Well, there's no reason for you to be all sad! I'll go to school with you as soon as I convince daddy!" Katana promises. "But for now, let's go play!"

"But they don't like me to play with them..."

"Well, as Hidan says, Fuck them!"

Naruto tilts his head to the side, "What's fuck?"

"I don't know."

Katana grabs the blonde's hand and leads him to the "Adventure Tower". One of the older kids stop them.

"He can't come up here." He points at Naruto, then Katana. "And you can't come up here cause we don't know you."

"I'll go where ever I want." Katana narrows her eyes. "And he's coming with me."

"I said no."

She steps forward and glares up at the boy, "I said yes."

Naruto frowns, not wanting to cause any problems, "Katana-"

The older boy, Shen, shoves her to the ground. Katana jumps up and tackles the older boy, knocking him to the ground. She pins him down and starts throwing punches. Shen punches her in the face and knocks her off, standing up triumphantly. Katana hops back up and produces a kunai from her pocket. She waits until he goes to high five one of his friends and throws it with scary good aim. There's a horrified and pained scream as the kunai peirces the boys hand and makes said hand get pinned to the wall of the "Adventure Tower"(very literally, sadly).

Katana nods triumphantly and grabs Naruto's hand again. She leads him to the base of the tower like nothing happened and grins. He gives her a funny look, but starts to climb the wall. Katana smiles and follows after him, ignoring the commotion going on at the bottom of the tower. The reach the next level and do the dangerously high monkey bars. Kids stared at them with a mix of shock, horror and surprise. The third level, they climb the many rope walls to reach the top.

"You first." Naruto gestures to the slide.

She nods and dives head first down it, Naruto laughing at her way down. He goes down the normal way, close behind her. This was the most fun he'd ever had during free time. He hoped Katana would be able to come to the academy, but he silently questioned why he'd never seen her outside of the park. Katana rolls off the slide quickly and slaps high fives with Naruto.

"Wasn't that fun?" She claps. "We should do this more often."

"Yeah, but maybe next time we could be a little less violent about it?" Naruto rubs the back of his head sheepishly.

"Alright... I'll _try _to be less violent."

Iruka stares at the unknown child who had come here to play with Naruto(shocker) and injured another student(bigger shocker). He walks over to her and stares her down.

Naruto frowns, "Iruka-sensei-"

"Who are you?"

"My name is Katana Myojin!" She waves at him, but keeps walking.

"What're you doing here?"

"I'm here to play with Naruto! But now, I've gotta leave." She walks up to Shen and glares at him again. She yanks the kunai out his hand and the wall and places it back into her pocket. "Bye Naruto! Remember, when all else fails, throw a knife!"

"Hold it right there!" Iruka grabs her shoulder. "Where're you from."

"I don't know, I'm not good with directions!" She pulls away and frowns.

"You look familiar."

"You must know my daddy then." She grins, turning on her heel and running off. She had just remembered she had clothes in the washer.

* * *

Katana stares at the flooded basement. There was about a foot of water and soap on the ground, but the washer just buzzed and she needed to get the clothes. She wades through the water slowly and transfers the clothes into the dryer. She couldn't help but notice they had turned pink.

"Are clothes suppose to do that?" She frowns. "Oh well... At least my shirt still looks normal."

She starts the next load, careful not to use to much soap this time. She then realizes she only had like 2 drops of soap and the dark clothes were really dirty. They were covered in dirt and blood and stuff. She searches the cabinets until she finds something to solve that problem. She picks up a bottle of bleach and reads the label.

"Good for mud, dirt and blood. Caution: Do not drink." She smiles and tries to get the cap off, but fails horribly.

She remembers the child locks and squeezes the cap tightly. It comes right off and she dumps half the bottle in the washer. She adds the clothes, which mostly consisted of blood-stained cloaks and dirty pants with a few shirts. She couldn't find any of her clothes and facepalms when she remembers she left them in her room and forgot to add them to the pile. She sighs and closes the washer lid and tries to think of a way to get the water out.

"...I'll just let Orochimaru take the blame." She shrugs and goes back upstairs.

She searches the kitchen again and finds a huge safe with a lock on it. She didn't have a key so she deciedes to "borrow" Kakuzu's lock picking kit. She sits at the safe and tries to pick the lock for an entire hour before giving up. She leaves the kit on the floor and goes to get the clothes.

She struggles to keep teh heavy basket above the water and sets it ontop of the dryer. She sticks the wet clothes in the dryer and takes the dry clothes upstairs and leaves them in Orochimaru's room.

"If he thinks I'm folding them, he has another thing coming." She huffs.

* * *

"Daddy! Daadddyyyy!" Katana beats on the door a few times before opening it. She stands in front of the desk and waits until she has his attention. "Daddy, I wanna go to school."

Pein stares at her and cocks an eye brow. He shakes his head, "No."

"But whyyyy?"

"It's complicated. You'll understand when your older."

"Ugh, you sound like Hidan..." She pouts, climbing ontop of the desk and pushing the paperwork on the ground. "But how am I suppose to learn how to be a ninja?!"

Pein blinks a few times, a bit shocked at her ignorance. "You live in a house of advanced Shinobi. Any one of them can teach you."

"Oh..."

"What happened to your face?" He points at the big bruise on her cheek.

She crosses her arms, "I was at the park with Naruto and this jerk wouldn't let us on the tower. I tried to fight him, but he punched me in the face! So I pulled out a kunai and threw it at him. It pinned his hand to the wall, because I'm just that bad ass."

"...That's nice?"

"But then this guy, Iruka or whatever, started questioning me! He said I looked familiar, and that only really means one thing. You know him? He looks gay..."

"..."

"Hey, daddy, what's gay mean?"

"..."

"Hidan always calls Orochimaru gay, then snake guy gets mad!"

"..."

"He also calls Orochimaru a pedo. What's a pedo?"

"...A freak who has an unhealthy obsession with little kids."

"Really?"

"Don't take anymore candy from Orochimaru."

"Why?"

"Just don't. Or any candy from old guys on the street."

"Okay?" She gives him a confused look.

They fall silent and Pein starts to work around Katana, knowing she didn't plan to leave him alone anytime soon. That kinda thing happened when she was bored. That or she was hiding from other members. She moves her feet and watches him work. She remembers something from her shopping trip with the zombie bros.

"Hey daddy?"

"Hmm?"

"What's fucking?"

Cue awkward silence that could match any other. Pein takes a deep breath, making a note to beat Hidan upside the head.

"It's sex."

"What's sex?"

"Ask someone else."

"...Kay." She hops off the desk and goes to find her answer.

Well, she would've if she wasn't just hit in the face with the door. She falls flat on her back as someone knew murmurs a soft "oops".

"Yeah, cause the oops always makes it better." Pein replies.

Katana stands up and opens the door fully to see who it was. She gasps in realization.

"Hey! Your the guy in the woods from before with the red eyes!" She announces eagerly.

Said man enters, a mask on his face only showing one eye(barely). Katana climbs back on the desk and sits there, showing no signs of leaving anytime soon. Her questions could wait, she wanted to know more about this guy.

"Madara." Pein glances up.

"Pein."

"Katana!" She chimes in not-so-helpfully.

* * *

**And this concludes another chapter! WTF is Madara doing here? Will Katana ever learn to wash clothes correctly? Will Orochimaru survive trusting Katana with washing clothes? We'll see next chapter of When I Was Younger!**

**P.S. A call out to all the Kingdom Hearts fans! Can you check out my new fic and review? *puppy dog eyes* It's called The Fallen!**


	9. Eyes

_Oh crap, he's serious. _I stare at Madara with wide eyes as he produces sword from who-knows-where. He chuckles darkly and takes a step towards me.

"Ehehe, you wouldn't kill a 5 year old, would you?" I laugh nervously. "Would you?"

He nods slowly, "Yes. I would."

"Oh... In that case..." I turn on my heel and run towards the base. "I NEED ASSISTANCE!"

Madara grabs my by my hair and pulls me back. I hiss and cling to a tree to keep from going anywhere else, continuing with my yelling.

"I KNOW YOU GUYS HEAR ME, I'M SERIOUS! THIS PSHYCO'S TRYING TO KILL ME!"

Still nothing.

"Deidara!? Hidan!?"

Even more nothing.

I take a deep breath and let loose every single curse word I'd ever heard, at the top of my lungs. When I finish and take another breath, I hear a crowd of footsteps.

"I swear, I didn't teach her any of those fucking words!" Hidan protests, running from Konan.

"Sure you didn't!"

"MOOOMMMYYY!" I quickly catch her attention.

She stares at me for a few moments, then at Madara. She goes into(as Hidan calls it) "Momma Bear Mode" and tackles Madara. And then I run some more, because it's really no fun to get killed by some old guy. I pause as things start to get a bit... swirly. I walk for IDK how long, but I felt like I was going in circles. I hiss angrily and kick a tree at random.

I think about it an realize I'm in some kinda jutsu. What's it called? ...Taijutsu? No... That's with your feet... GENJUTSU! YEAH! ...Damnit, wait! That's bad! Not yeah!

I keep on walking, even though I had no idea where I was going. I pause and smile a bit as I remember a song I liked, even though it was a bit dark. I hum while I think of the lyrics.

_They're coming to take me away, haa haa. They're coming to take me away, ho ho! Hee hee, haa haa. To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time! And I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming to take me away, HAA HAA! _

I grin as I'm finally released from the genjutsu, finding I had basically walked in a full circle for 10 minutes. You could see a little imprint in the dirt where I walked. My grin falls as I spot Madara with a rather threatening sword... Who am I kidding... All swords are threatening. I turn and run, unsure where I should run. I glance back to see him no longer there. I breath a sigh of relief, but run into something big. I stumble back and fall on my butt, looking up at Madara. How did he do that.

"Leave me alone!" I shout angrily.

All he does is laugh. I close my eyes and curl into a little ball, waiting to be killed by this psycho. I could see my whole life flash before my very eyes! ...And it's already done flashing... I can't die this young!

Something in me snaps, my eyes suddenly burn. All of a sudden, I could see everything around me. I dodge out the way of Madara's sword and reach for my kunai. I frown, unable to find it. Madara summons clones, yet I could somehow see every single one of them, even the ones behind me. I laugh and cartwheel out the way, grabbing a rock and chucking it at a clone.

It poofs away and I could sense another one coming behind me. I whirl around and throw another rock, yet another clone poofs away. I turn to smirk at Madara, unsure how I was doing this, but not willing to question it in case it deciedes to leave. He disapears in a weird swirl-thingy and his clones poof away. I shrug and begin to walk back to the base, still able to see all around me.

I blink a few times, my eyes feeling like they were on fire. I squeeze my eyes shut, but the burn doesn't stop. I walk faster to the base, decieding to ask someone if there was something wrong with my eyes. I feel something coming at me from behind, so I duck out the way. Even that surprised me. Since when can I dodge something i can't see?

I look back to see Sanji staring at me with a sheepish look.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist." He laughs nervously. "Don't tell mom?"

"...Right..." I sigh, then remember my question. "Hey Sanji-"

But he was already gone. I make a note to learn how to do that and keep walking to the base. I rub my eyes and blink some more, trying to get the burning to stop. I didn't trip once, I felt like I could see everything. I could feel a headache start to form. I rub my head and close my eyes as I pause in my walking. I open them again and spot my kunai a good 30 feet away laying in the grass. I could tell it was mine, because I tied orange ribbons to the handles.

I run over and pick it up, happy I was able to find it again. No one really let me near the weapons, so this one is special. I pause as I feel something off, but I couldn't tell what. I see something sharp coming at me from the side, so I whip around and smack it away with my kunai... Now I'm creeped out. When did I get so good at being a ninja?

I finally get to the base and feel like my eyeballs were about to explode. I touch the area beneath my eyes, and blood stains my finger. Was I dying? Or was this Genjutsu? I look in the mirror and pinch my arm just to make sure, but I was definantly bleeding from my eyes. And another thing.

Instead of my usual, dark green eyes, I had grey eyes surronded by rings... Like daddy's. This is new.

"Hey, brat, un." Deidara comes over to me, stopping abrubtly when I turn around. His eyes widen in horror. "The fuck did you do to your eyes!? Why are they bleeding, un!?"

"I don't know!" I whine. "Help me fix it, please?"

"Sasori-no-danna!" He lifts me up and carries me into said puppets room.

"What is it?" He scowls, looking nothing like the Sasori _I _knew. The Sasori I knew looked like a turtle and had a mask. This Sasori was a red-head and looked pretty young..._  
_

"Katana's eyes are bleeding, un." Deidara replies like it was the most normal thing in the world to say.

Sasori stares at me for who knows how long with a creeped out look on his face. He sighs and wipes the blood off my face with tissue.

"It seems the gloop you got in your eyes a few weeks ago affected you a lot. But since the Rinnegan in was forced to show, it doesn't function very easily. Hence the bleeding from the eyes." Sasori explains.

"Yeah... Well... How do I turn them off?"

"They're not like Sharingan..."

"Hey. Hey. If some magical green gloop can make these eyes pop up out of nowhere-"

Sasori quickly cuts me off, "How'd you activate them in the first place?"

"This pshyco was trying to kill me." I explain, my headache beginning to fade away.

Sasori smirks, "So they do turn on and off... I guess it was because you were in danger."

"Oh, the Rinnegan is gone?" I look in the mirror, pleased to see my normal eye color again.

I leave the two artists' room as they start to argue again, now bored out of my mind. I sit in front of the TV and color in my coloring book to pass the time. At least... I was _going to. _Every single page in my coloring book had been already been colored in very sloppily. I know for a fact I didn't do this, because I just got it yesterday! Who's been using my coloring book!?_  
_

I throw it down angrily and try to think of a way to catch the culprit. The thought soon leaves my mind as I see Sanji going to train. I smile and follow him outside. He glances back at me with a blank expression.

"What is it now, Katana?"

"I wanna train with you!" I announce happily.

He stares at me wordlessly for awhile, but turns away and keeps walking without an answer. I puff my cheeks out and follow him.

"Oh come on, why do you have to be so mean? I'm a fast learner!" I protest. "Just teach me a little, I won't be difficult."

"Go ask someone else, I don't have time to train you." Sanji grumps. "Do you know how difficult it would be to teach someone with no experience whatsoever, how to become a Shinobi? Or a Kunoichi in your case."

"But I do have experience!" I take some of his kunai and throw them one at a time at the targets. "See?"

I was happy to see one of them were a bullseye, but the other two were just barely sticking to the sides. I wave my arms frantically at the bullseye one, giving Sanji puppy dog eyes. He sighs loudly and pinches the bridge if his nose.

"Just because you can throw a few kunai, doesn't give you experience." He explains slowly.

"It doesn't?"

"No. Being a ninja takes years of practice with an actual teacher. Besides, your too young to learn ninjutsu,"

I cross my arms and pout, now angry with my brother. How dare he say I'm to young! If I'm old enough to fight some psycho old guy, I'm old enough to be a true ninja!"

"No."

"Sanji!"

"No."

"But San-"

"I said no, Katana."

I stare at him, obviously defeated. I turn away and go back into the house, decieding to choose someone else to train me. Now that I think about it, with this Rinnegan mutation type thing, I should be able to do Genjutsu. I then come to the issue of getting the Rinnegan to come back again. I stare at myself in the mirror and think of a way.

_**30 Minutes Later...**_

I groan and bang my head on the wall repeatedly. This Rinnegan thing just wasn't working out for me. I sigh and go find Itachi anyways, considering he's suppose to be some kinda 'master of Genjutsu' or whatever. I'm not surprised to find him in his room, he usually was. He wasn't much of a people person.

"What is it, Katana?" He deadpans, not even looking up from his book.

"Itachi, can you teach me?"

"Teach you what?"

"How to do Genjutsu. I hear your great at it!"

There's a long, awkward silence as he stares at me with zero expression. I shift uncomfortably and wait patiently for him to say something. After awhile, he finally says something.

"I don't think your the type of person who should learn Genjutsu." Itachi goes back to his book.

I sigh, a bit more annoyed with the repeated rejection. I leave his room and try to think of someone else who could teach me. I go into Sasori's room and find him working on a puppet. I sit across from him and wait for him to look up. He sighs and reluctantly looks up at me, pausing in looking at his puppet.

"What is it?"

"Can you teach me how to be a puppet master?"

More awkward staring.

"Being a puppet master takes focus and patience... You don't have either of those things, sorry."

I sigh angrily and stomp out the room, now needing someone else to teach me. But who? WHO!?

* * *

**Hey everyone, school has started for me so it might take me longer to update... ^.^ REVIEW! PLEASE?**


	10. Sensei Search

I frown up at the strange boy and his possible dad. They both wore green spandex that burned my eyes and the younger boy had huge eyes. I look around awkwardly, as they stare at me. I cough and repeat my question.

"Did you guys hear me? I asked if you know where I can find a sensei!"

They stare with wide grins now, weird words coming from their mouths.

"Such youthfulness! This young, inexperienced girl will bloom into a more feminine Kunoichi with our help!" The older one shouts eagerly.

"This is wonderful! Amazing that at such a young age, she is prepared to go to the next level!" The younger one agrees.

"Um... What?" I stare at them, a little creeped out.

"We shall take her under our wings and train her ourselves!" The older one again.

"Gai-sensei, you are so generous!" The younger one with big, watery eyes.

"Hey, guys?" I start to back away.

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

They hug as they cry waterfalls of joy. I smack my forehead and slowly shake my head. _This _is why I never come to Konoha: Because it's full of weirdo's. I could feel my eye twitch as they finally finsh their "moment".

"Now let us train... What is your name?" Gai questions.

"Katana," I sigh. "And yeah, let's get training."

"Alright! To warm up, 50 laps around Konoha!"

"_WHAT?!_"

I wasn't sure if I heard him right. Did he just say _50 laps? _They're out of their minds if they think I'm gonna do that! Lee grabs my hand, making me run unless I wanted to be dragged... Maybe I don't _have _to be a Kunochi yet... maybe in a year... or 5.

Before I can make my choice, Lee grabs my hand and starts to run. I groan, forced to run now. I have to sprint to keep up with him. This was NOT a warm up. This was a full blown work out!

Lee lets go of my hand, "Keep going, Katana!"

I finish 2 laps before I manage to sneak away. I hide in the trees, hunched over and trying to catch my breath. I felt like throwing up. I felt like I was gonna die right then and there. I will never run again.

"We have lost her Gai-sensei!"

"Don't worry Lee, we'll just follow her chakra signiture!"

_Awww, man. _Katana groans.

She forces her legs to move, running away at top speeds. She slides down the side of a waterfall and lays on the ground, gasping like a fish. When she assumes it's safe, she gets up and heads back into the village. She looks around quietly until she spots a normal-looking group of people training.

She walks up to one that was taking a rest, reading an orange book. Upon closer inspection, she recognizes it As one of Orochimaru's books. She reaches up and taps on Kakashi's head.

"Hey Mister, are you a ninja?" She asks.

"...Yes. And you are?" Kakashi stares.

"I'm Katana! And I need you to train me! Please?"

"I don't really have time..."

"C'mon, I have nowhere else to go! Everyone else is either crazy or mean!"

"Well... I can't train you... But I know someone who can." Kakashi glances up. "Iruka!"

As Iruka and Katana meet for the second time, silence ensues.

"YOU!" Iruka stabs a finger at her. "Your the little brat that punched one of my students!"

"You've met?" Kakashi gives him a surprised look.

"He was making fun of Blondey!" Katana snaps.

"You don't even know his name?!" Iruka shouts.

The two go back and forth until Kakashi breaks up the fight. He and Iruka have a group huddle with a few other ninja before they come to a conclusion that they would just scare the kid off by letting Iruka 'spar' with her.

"Just you wait, Pineapple! Your going down!" Katana jumps up and down excitedly.

"Riiiight." Iruka rolls his eyes.

As Iruka fights hand to hand with her, he finds he under estimated her. Katana really had no idea what she was doing, she was just copying moves shed seen the others do. She searches her mind for something, making sure to d the the exact hand signs she saw Sanji do.

She wanted to say the move, but she didn't know it very well. So she was a bit amazed when electricity started flickering to life, soft chirps able to be heard. The jutsu only lasts a few seconds, fading away before Katana could use it.

"Is she one of your students?" Asuma questions.

"No, I don't even know where she came from!" Iruka throws his hands up. "She literally just walked onto school grounds from the forest."

"Strange..." Kurenai mutters.

"Katana, right?" Kakashi walks up to the tired out child. "Where are you from?"

Katana quietly contemplates whether or not to tell them. She stutters and mumbles nonsense.

"I-I... Uh... I live in a cave." She finally answers.

"A cave?" His eyes widen. "Where are your parents?"

"They live with me in the cave. I have a brother too, he uses me for target practice!" Katana explains eagerly. "I also have a scary uncle I never knew existed!"

The Shinobi share an uneasy look as she goes on about her... Strange... Home.

"I should start goin home. Daddy's gonna be mad if he finds out I came here alone." Katana waves. "Bye strangers, if you can find me a sensei, I'd appreciate it!"

She disappears into the forest, making sure she wasn't being followed. She shrieks in surprise when the green-jump suited duo find her again.

"PINEAPPLE-SENSEI! HEEELP!"


End file.
